Sertraline Dolls
Sertraline Dolls (2020-2023) is a new media performance that culminated from 3 years of collected video work, experimental video game installation works, and collage of interpersonal and public myth making. The performance involves a 3D printed 1 to 1 scale recreation of a 3D scan I had of myself before ever coming out as a transwoman to myself, to the world, and before any physical changes began to occur in my transition. This effigy I resurrected, my “boy” self that I still believe exists in the simultaneity of who I am today. The process of my own understanding and recognizing what it means to become something in the public eye, while also collapsing temporalities as a form of communication across the collective variations of one’s self, is at the heart of this work's purpose and presentation.
The performance utilizes a large video projection that contains a collection of video artworks i created over the last 3 years, the 3D scanned sculptural effigy, myself, and a gesture of giving that boy what he always wanted which is finally to sleep with a transwoman. That boy never would have guessed that that trans woman he would finally penetrate would be me.
This work is about the way we consume bodies via media and the ways that archiving oneself in the consumption of our intimate moments through data collection, voyeurism, hyper sexualization of transwomens bodies, and the formats we an understand the reconnection with our past selves to hold them and love them with the desires that were never met. In a gesture of the 3D sculpture having a strapon, I let him penetrate me while also at the end deconstructing him, as he is a toy 3D printed to be both a doll being merged with the living doll that is me.
rr
